to shine a light {ryan}

[liralen sabriel wren]

*I don't wanna be adored. Don't wanna be first in line;;
`` Or make myself heard. I'd like to bring a little light,,
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Lira woke up early, jumping into alertness in a cold sweat. Fingers stiff with sleep, she rubbed her hands over her face and tried to remember what her nightmare had been about. It was no use—the same thing happened at least three times a week. She would have some sort of bad dream and then not be able to remember it in the morning. It was useless to go back to sleep, because she would just continue to have it over, and over, and over. Her parents were at a loss for how to deal with it. Occasionally they would come in before work and hear her moaning, “I’m sorry! I’ll do better next time!” and things of the like. No matter what they did to comfort her, the nightmares still came.

With a small moan, Liralen pulled herself out of bed and began her morning routine. All through her shower, she felt the ache of a bad nights sleep. Sadly, she wondered what it must be like to live without so much fear. Without fear, there wouldn’t be any nightmares. Wistfully, she thought about all the things that would change in her life if she wasn’t so terrifies all of the time. She would be more confident. Have friends. Probably have adventures. But what was the point in wishing for things that were never going to happen?

Lira stood shivering in front of her closet, trying to decide what to wear. In the end, she pulled out some thick deep purple stockings, and a long-sleeve forest green tunic dress. She didn’t bother with her hair or makeup; her hair would air dry decently enough, and no one was looking at her anyways. Usually by now she would have gotten over her bad night by this point, but something still felt off. Her heart felt heavy, and a certain nervousness was pulsing up and down her limbs. She pattered quietly downstairs—he parents were still asleep, being that it was a Sunday. Lira grabbed a blueberry muffin from the bowl in the kitchen, and was headed towards the door when she spotted an envelope on the table with a post-it on it. Post-its were a common sight in the Wren house. They used post-its for reminders, notes, and to communicate with each other. Frowning, Lira padded over to it and read her mother’s neat and graceful cursive. “ Lira—This came in the mail for you yesterday. It’s from the government. I didn’t think it was right to open it for you. Love Mommy.” Lira gently peeled away the post-it and stuck it in her purse. Hands shaking, she ran her fingers over the smooth surface of the letter. Before she could think about it anymore, she picked up the letter and left.

She decided to take her normal morning routine—jumping on her bike and going to the park at the elementary school. Her bike was cold and wet, making her regret her lack of forethought. Nonetheless, she hoped on and went on her way. It was getting late enough in the morning that people were out and about by the time Lira got to the park. She found a spot a good distance away—close enough that she could watch the people interacting at the park, but far enough away that it was unlikely for them to take any notice of her. There were only a few people at the park. The mother of three who took her young children there every Sunday was there; Lira knew their names, and how old they were. She understood their personalities and almost felt like she knew them. There was also a young couple with an infant. Lira smiled at the sight of the baby cooing, until she noticed the little white cloth bandage around it’s wrist. Frowning, she looked down at her own covered wrist, rubbing it absently. She realized that she couldn’t hold off the inevitable any longer and pulled the envelope out of her purse.

It looked exactly like any other envelope—white, nondescript, dark plain font typed clearly across the front. Yet it was so much more than the average envelope. The letter from a distant aunt with Christmas money, or the letter from the library to tell you kept that novel so long that the next time you come in, you’ll simply have to buy it. This one contained her fate. She could already feel the jitters—heart pounding, heavy breathing, sweaty palms, tears prickling the back of her eyelids. Unsteadily she pulled at the corner and ripped the letter open. It said exactly what she thought it would. You have been paired with a master, these are your expectations, et cetera, et cetera. The page became harder and harder to ready as tears swam in front of her eyes. Finally she got to the end. You are expected to be at the residence of your master tomorrow, ready to meet them and move in. They may not be home when you arrive, so you have been provided with a key.

[/i] That was followed by an address. Briefly, Lira realized that the letter had seemed a little heavier than most, and she could feel the weight of the key in her lap.

And then, as long as she had been holding it back, she couldn’t stop the flow of tears that came rushing out. She imagined leaving her family, the only people who had ever really seemed to give a shit about her. Leaving the home she had lived in her whole life to go somewhere foreign and new where she there was a slim chance of anyone liking her, let alone caring about her. She had been preparing for this for years, but for some reason the idea of it actually happening made her feel more lonely than she ever had before. Her tears turned into painful sobs. Lira lay back in the grass and let the weeping rack through her thin frame. She dropped the letter to put her hands over her face. Her body ached with the sadness of the unavoidable that was building up inside of her.

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[/b] [/color]done
words; 1026 –whew!—
notes; for Ryan. Weird end… it just kind of stops but I couldn’t figure out a better place to stop. Sorry bout that. :-/
credits; made by xxmizzbry from caution 2.0
lyrics; from Keane’s Hamburg Song[/size]
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[ryan mitchell]

--- Ryan's morning probably couldn't be more different from Lira's. Of course, about a month ago, they probably would have been so similar that you might mistake them for twins. But that was when Ry was still worried about his own assignment to a master. Now, of course, he realized that he was worrying all that time for absolutely nothing. To be paired with the man he has loved for his entire life was like a gift from God. He easily would cop it off to luck, but something told him that this was meant to have happened -- this was meant to be. Fate. It was something Ryan never really gave much thought to -- he figured he had control over his own sorry life, he didn't need to believe in some higher power calling the shots. But this, this was too much of a coincidence for it to just be chance.

--- So, when Ryan awoke this morning, he found himself -- instead of alone -- snuggled up next to Keith. He opened his eyes blearily, rubbing at them with his free hand, the other wrapped around his master's smaller waist. Unfortunately enough, when Ryan was awake, he was awake. There was no chance of him falling back asleep at this point, so he gently rose, trying his best not to disturb his partner's side of the bed. He quickly stripped as he walked -- he needed to take his shower quickly, he had some work that he wanted to get done before Keith stole all the water. Keith turned a little in his sleep, and the sound of shifting made Ry look behind him. Giving him a sweet smile, he walked out of the room, turning on the water to a hot temperature and took a lightning fast shower. He wasn't used to being allowed to have hot water -- in preparation for getting a master, Ryan started taking cold showers so that he would be able to save his master the good stuff. However, this was Keith, and Key didn't even consider himself to be a "master" -- he would much rather ignore the whole thing. The thought made Ryan smile as he dried himself off.

--- Remembering that it would probably be cold outside, he grabbed his trench coat from the hanger with one hand and blow-dried his hair with the other. He would commonly multitask like this. Hair and makeup would normally be done at the same time -- it was much faster that way... and, much less accurate. However, he had become a master of putting on eyeliner with one hand by now. After finally deeming himself acceptable to the public, he slipped on his jacket and wrapped the bandages around the "S" mark on his wrist before quietly going outside. First thing was first -- he needed to grab a few supplies before he started back in on cleaning the house. He chewed his lip thoughtfully, hoping that someday Keith would at least let him clean the goddamn place once in a while. Normally, it was so immaculate that Ryan would sit, poised and ready if a single speck of dust fell from the ceiling. He always felt so idle, and because his only job allowed to him was taking care of his master that didn't need to be taken care of, he normally would sit around and just read a book.

--- Come to think of it, he could use a trip to the library or something... He paused, mid step, the cold air biting at his already reddened face. The library was past the elementary school, right? He was pretty sure that was where it was. He could use a couple of new books to read while he sat around like a fat slob... stupid Keith for being OCD like he was... He turned on his heel and, with his face low, walked in the opposite direction towards the library, and, consequently, the elementary school. The black fringe of his bangs covered his argent gaze as he walked -- he would rather not talk to anyone at this point. Just because he felt a bit more confident than usual today didn't mean he was suddenly not petrified of people anymore or something.

--- He passed the park, hearing the many sounds that were normal for the place. Kids playing around, babies gurgling, adults chattering, people crying -- wait. He froze, his head shot up and he looked around to where he heard the last sound. Woah, that wasn't normal. A girl was slumped in the grass, huddled in a little ball of misery on the floor. Automatically, Ryan's heart twisted at the sight. That looked... his mind whisked him away to all the tens of thousands of times he himself looked exactly like that... he swallowed thickly, his entire body captivated by a mixture of apprehension, horror, empathy, and sadness. His feet moved before he could think, and he was automatically kneeling down next to the girl, a timid hand placed on her back. "J-Jesus, hey, y-y-you're all right, shh." He was awful at comforting others and he knew it. He looked down, his argent gaze brushing over the same letter he had gotten, and he sighed gently. A servant. Yes, he knew of this pain, he knew of it all too well. "Y-you won't kn-know if th-they're bad or not until y-you meet them," he murmured gently, trying his damndest to comfort her a little. Clearly, it seemed, it wasn't working.

post[/color] complete
words[/color] 1 , 025
muse[/color] 6/10
for[/color] Liralen~
comments[/color] x__X
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[liralen sabriel wren]

*I don't wanna be adored. Don't wanna be first in line;;
`` Or make myself heard. I'd like to bring a little light,,
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Lira felt a fairly large, warm hand on her back, startling her out of her grief; she wasn’t one to take being startled very well. She jumped a little, and pulled her hands away to look up at the person intruding on her very private moment. He seemed to be a young man, dressed in dark colors and wearing an unexpectedly large amount of dark makeup. Normally, this would have terrified Liralen; in fact, her first instinct was to open her mouth and scream. But just as she opened her mouth, she saw the empathy in his eyes. She cast her gaze down at his wrist, and saw that he too was a servant. Perhaps he really did understand what she was going through. Being the type of person to keep to herself, Lira had always wondered if other servants were just as scared of their situation as she was, or if they felt perfectly natural about it.

With a huge sniffle, Lira wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands and tried to pull herself together. The tears were slowing now, but the dull ache in her chest was still there. Nervous as she always was about meeting new people, she kept her eyes trained to the ground as he spoke to her. His stutter stood out to her immediately—it was something that she did when she was nervous or scared, that people had always teased her about. Carefully, she pulled away from the stranger’s hand- she had always been uncomfortable with being touched, mostly because she never knew when someone would accidentally tickle her—which happened surprisingly often and was quite unfortunate.

“I know… it’s just, I’m not particularly useful, and I’m scared that they won’t like me.” Lira’s chin quivered and her eyes filled up with tears again, “I just want them to like me so badly.” She could feel the panic swelling up again, “I’m not very strong, over very brave. I don’t have any real skills.” There it was—the tears came pouring back. Embarrassment filled her as she started to cry again, staining her cheeks a deep red. “I’m sorry; I’m sort of a mess today.”

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[/b] [/color]FINALLY DONE!
words; 364. :-/
notes; new friends = <3
credits; made by xxmizzbry from caution 2.0
lyrics; from Keane’s Hamburg Song[/size][/ul][/ul][/ul][/font]

[ryan mitchell]

--- Panic soon gripped Ry's frame. Oh, God, was he crossing some sort of unseen and unspoken boundary? He himself knew how that went -- he despised being touched, but he himself was horrid at comforting others. He didn't know what else to do. So when she pulled away, he immediately ripped his hand away like she was on fire. Urgh, that was a bit of a bad comparison, he thought, and winced at the mental image, already feeling his stomach twist. He bit down a little on his lower lip, finally feeling his nerves overtake him and a blush creep up on his cheeks. God, why did he even bother?

post[/color] incomplete
words[/color] ---
muse[/color] 6/10
for[/color] Liralen~
comments[/color] b'awww D: i'll finish this soon. ah swearz.
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